MUM

As my Mum’s 86^th birthday approaches, and as we plan for a bit of surgery she will need to have before that, I’m once again thinking of all that she has meant to me and the role she continues to pay in my life.

My parents are both 86 and live with my husband and me now in Singapore. Papa is not very mobile now and has lots of niggly little problems that make life a bit hard. Mum has had all manner of illnesses over the years but remains cheerful and fun-loving. She has helped Papa keep up his spirits too. When he gets into a feeling-sorry-for-himself mood, we both tell him to smile. He does, and immediately cheers up.

It was my Mum who several years ago kindled my interest in Reiki (energy) healing. When I do presentations on Reiki now, I often end with the story of Mum’s astonishing healing with Reiki. The last time I started on this story I suddenly realized two women in the audience were gaping at me in amazement. This is because they have met my Mum and seen her dance at one of our parties at home; so when I started the story with a description of her severe attack of sciatica, which had made her completely bed-ridden, they couldn’t believe I was talking about the same woman!

The Reiki healing was truly amazing. But no less was Mummy’s spirit, will-power and openness to the energy. To the amazement of the surgeon, who had predicted the possibility of her being able to sit again – but not walk – she made a complete recovery even without his surgery!

Now, at 86, she has very little short-term memory, but she remembers older things perfectly. And in every other way her brain is sharper than all our brains put together! Just because her short-term memory is shot to pieces – which it is – people assume she can’t think rationally. This morning, when the doctor asked me for the third time if she was competent to sign her consent for the surgery, I asked him to talk to her directly. She immediately put him on the defensive by asking him to give her his professional opinion as a doctor instead of asking her if she “wanted” to have the growth removed.

In the past year, Mum has enthusiastically taken part in our parties at home and our outings outside the home. However, she refuses to go out without Papa, so we go out less often now. Except for her appointments with doctors, which she does consent to keep even without Papa. Today, she grumbled throughout her echo cardiogram, insisted she was about to peg out, demanded to know if I was keeping an eye on her handbag; then, when it was over, got up cheerfully, her good humour completely restored.

Every time we have friends over at home, she makes some attempt at being a decorous elder. After dinner, around 10 or 11 pm she politely says good night, gathers up her husband, and makes off to her bedroom. Since most of our parties end up with music and dance, I take her byes with a pinch of salt. As soon as the music starts, she comes right back and starts dancing with us. Never mind that she had a pacemaker, with her heart working at only 10 percent of capacity, and never mind that she uses a walker (frame) to walk. She doesn’t need any support when she’s in the mood to dance. And nothing can stop her.

More on Mum and me (an article from 2009)